But so what? If you think gaining the world’s attention is going to save you from low self esteem then you are in for a bowl of cold porridge. True happiness comes from looking within your self, not externally. What you have on the inside is what will show on the outside. To be happy, get confident. If you have confidence it will radiate from your core and then influence your outer shell, i.e. posture, attitude, hair-do. In time, this will influence other parts of your life, e.g. better job, healthier, clearer complexion, sport captaincy.
If you are unhappy on the inside it will smother and choke your shell with weight gain, greasy skin, slipped discs, and mumbling to name but a few.
Basically, you are who you believe you should be. Hippo inside means hippo outside. If you don’t like it you have to change from the inside-out.
There are those, of course, who think they can skip a step and get plastic surgery. Look what happens to that lot. The other day I saw a woman’s breast where one nipple looked like it was emigrating to her shoulder. Frankly, I didn’t blame it. The skin it was on was stretched tighter than a trampoline. Then there are those plastic face monstrosities. You can’t tell me that spending $70,000 on an immovable face covered with kaleidoscopic make-up is sensible spending.
My advice is to work out who you are and make peace with yourself. As long as you aren’t hurting yourself or others, and you leave the world in a better way than you found it, then you have to be you – for the sake of your own sanity.
I want to tell you about a couple of my friends. They are good people, loyal and healthy. Most importantly, they are happy. Now, their idea of happiness may conflict with yours but it’s not for you to judge, particularly as they would never judge you. I ask that you explore their underpinning acceptance of who they are rather than recoil at their preferred pastimes.
One of these friends, Clayton, is a farmer but he could easily be an entertainer. Essentially he is both and any visit to his farm will result in an impromptu show. He has found unique ways to combine members of his heard in his act. This is never more obvious than when performing “Clayton and his cow sleeve jacket”. Some might say the idea of inserting his arms up to the shoulders in the rears of two different cows to be revolting. I can only hope that one day you have the opportunity to see it as I believe you will change your tune. It is a thoroughly absorbing spectacle and hysterically funny.
As if this wasn’t enough, years of practice has meant that Clayton has an astute knowledge of bovine anatomy. He actually located a gland that, when a small amount of gentle pressure is applied, will make a cow open and shut its mouth. What ensues is a ventriloquist act the likes of which you cannot imagine. You can’t even see his lips moving, Clayton that is. The cows’ lips are snapping open and shut like a Venus flytrap. I might add, to any animal rights activists, that there is no infringing cruelty here. Those cows out weight him by more than 100kg and have never struggled under the pressures of live theatre.
I have another friend, Jarred who has an abnormally large penchant for women. No matter what shape, form, colour, creed, or religion, Jarred offers a few free drinks and an evening of passable, enthusiastic sex to one and all. It’s like coital yahtzee. With such an open door policy, or perhaps ‘catch and release’ is a better description, Jarred has quite a reputation. You might think that his ravenous needs would isolate him from proper society but the fact is, while one sector alienates him, another actively seeks his company. Actually, they hunt him down like Saint Bernard dogs in an avalanche. And he’s happy. And he’s not hurting anyone. Well, that’s not strictly true; he’s hurt himself. The man is so clogged with sexual diseases that his last doctor forced him into a remote county paddock and administered drums of antibiotics via a crop-dusting plane.
The point is they are happily at peace with who they are and you can be too. So think about how you can gain similar harmony within yourself. Mark my educated words; that harmony will radiate out through your shell, into your life, and the lives of others.
Franko Skinns
Life Expert.
